Yeah. Thought posting this to no stupid questions would be OK. No luck.

Yep. I’m grateful for the people who choose this work. Sucks they’re constantly overworked, under paid, such a frustrating often thankless job. I try to remind them, hey rough job, but you’ve made a difference for me, so ty.

I text him. Ask him to tell doctor to fax insurance approval to pharmacy. Instead of doing that, he spends the next 3 hours sending me a series of texts criticizing me, telling me it’s my fault, not his, repeatedly pointing out, trying to get me to admit how irrational I was being.

All I’d said was “at the pharmacy. Can you tell the doctor to resend the insurance approval please?”

It’s not emotional, social. It’s mostly text communication. Like, “I’ll meet you at the front gate 215pm.” Female cm, we meet at the front gate 215pm. Male cm, 15 min later, im still waiting, then angry text from him saying he’s waiting somewhere else.

Ty for your objective response, btw.

Thank you. As woman with autism, it’s weird. Women nts, some tend to unconsciously expect me to behave like a woman. They operate with stereotypes, assume women should be emotional, touchy feely, into romantic comedies, etc. So when I’m logical, to the point, talk about math, science, some can’t compute. And some guys, they expect me to behave as a stereotypical female, treat me as such. Then they realize I’m not, am logical, etc, and their demeanor changes, start treating me as one of the guys.

I’ve met compassionate, emotional men, and analytical nerdy women. Just, so weird, how gender becomes such a big deal for some.

Been thinking about how quantum physics are connected to chaos theory and the properties of closed dynamic systems.

Will spare you that. Part of it is the human mind doesn’t have the processing of all configurations, all the possible states of an entire systems, simultaneously.

Humans do have abstract thought, critical thinking. We can observe, record data, notice patterns, trends. By chaos theory, humans discovered they could write math equations to describe the behavior of complex systems. With quantum physics, humans trying to figure out how localized realities in a system related to the behavior of system as a whole.

We use scientific method because we can’t comprehend the infinite. Math equations are shorthand, a trick we use to make up for our shortcomings. Science and math is awesome.

I have central auditory processing disorder, capd. Seeing a visual is instantaneous, clear, easy. People speaking is torturous, brain can’t process, requires lot of work, confusion, translating. For me, visuals are external, but even external sounds become internal, physical. Activation of the limbic system, anxiety, fear, can lead to hearing voices. Prefrontal cortex, I think, is where brain stops internalizing sound as stress, fear. Why some people with adhd who hear voices take a small, mild dose of Ritalin at night. Ritalin means less limbic, less fear.

Not an answer to your question, but I think different areas of the brain process sound, visuals. Different mechanisms. I’d be interested to know if someone could shed light on this.

I used to drink cold bottles of beer while showering. Very doable.

It look me til mid, late 30s. Had drank so heavily for so long, was getting sicker and sicker. Realized was heading straight into Leaving Las Vegas territory, had to quit.

Due to bunch of stuff, by early 20s, was so disconnected from body. No idea how to connect with people.

Then was at a healthy, responsible community rave. Given a dose of ecstasy, and as it kicked in, people let me fall into a group hug mass, bodies warm, gentle, caring. Found self looking up at one person, a closeness, openness I’d never felt before.

Ecstasy showed me what was possible, opened something in me i didnt know was there. Only done it twice, but that was enough. If done responsibly, some drugs can be quite therapeutic.

Not specific to your situation, just a process I recently went through. White female, thick, wavy, unruly hair. For decades, most haircut, style places were white people focused. Most white women have fine, straight hair. These places just didn’t know what to do with me.

Few months back, did research. 2a to 2c hair. Reading stuff online, many people with same hair were black women, sharing tips. So I went to a salon, all black staff and customers. Said, I’m having trouble figuring out what to do with my hair, anyone feel OK educating me?

Nice older black woman said with a smile, come over here white girl, let’s see what we can do. Glad I took a risk. Best haircut, style, ever. She turned me on to a lot of good hair products.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sluggish_schizophrenia

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Political_abuse_of_psychiatry_in_the_Soviet_Union

Those 2 articles are a start.

Yesterday, browsing wikipedia, stumbled on articles that talked about this very thing, on how Russia took advantage of mental health systems. They started to classify nonconforming, rebels as mentally ill. A frequently used diagnosis was sluggish schizophrenia. Anyone who was socially awkward, thought differently got this diagnosis. Cuz if someone is questioning our government, they must be sick in the head

They used this heavily for decades to discredit political rivals, forcible confinement, lock them away, work camps. Think gulag archipelago.

My mother was a legal secretary, so she taught me shorthand when I was a kid. W/o was included in those teachings.

Practically, what voluntarily checking myself into a psych hospital did: was given a temporary case worker who worked for the hospital. She assessed my needs. She called up a social services agency, who came to the hospital to meet me. I was placed in a shelter short term upon discharge, while new case manager worked on finding better temp housing. Was given 3 weeks of meds on discharge. Case manager connected me with an agency that helped me apply for ssi.

Whether you have insurance or not effects the care you receive.

If you voluntarily 5150 yourself, you will not be allowed to buy a gun afterwards.

A good hospital will be mostly safe, group activities, people who come in, teach meditation, mindfulness, art stuff. Made awesome connections. Lot of creative people in psych hospitals.

Bad hospital, 2 days waiting in an overcrowded room, shoved, yelled at by staff, violent patients, screaming, chaos.

In my area, there are crisis stabilization places thatve emerged to fill a void. People who don’t need to be hospitalized, but need help. 2 week stay, more freedom of movement, day trips, can bring and keep your laptop, phone, wear normal clothes. But the tone of these places vary depending on who’s there. Sometimes, hostile, violent clients who make other people feel unsafe. Week later, different group, Uber chill and zen.

If you have ptsd, are fleeing domestic abuse, or have autism, any of the above places can be challenging.

Gen x, i think, here. Sex alone does nothing for me. Nudity does nothing. I’m attracted more to people, subtlety, long, slow seductions.

Most sex I see in tv, movies, is ridiculous. Like, 2 people have been flirting for weeks. One day, chance meeting, they kiss. RIGHT THEN, right after the first kiss, they immediately start taking their clothes off.

Seriously, who does that?

Some of the best sex can be if you have your clothes on.

Also, too many fantasy TV shows have characters who can’t touch other people cuz demon in them, physically touching someone means they’ll lose control, whatever. So they go around miserable, horny, unrequited love and all that. Which to me shows failure of imagination. Sex can be imaginative, creative, so much variety, possibility. Phone sex, mutual self masturbation, why not work those options into the plot?

But no, in movies and TV, its almost always: kiss, clothes come right off, completely naked, always in a bed, orgasm in 5 minutes. Real life is way more complex than that.

That’s my fantasy. Have drawn up plans. Would love to live on plot of wooded land with artists, techies, eccentrics. Privacy respected, no one forced to do anything. But community bulletin board, hey I need this, can offer this in exchange.

There’s a website where, if you already have land, can order tiny home kit for 10 to 20k.

Or, can order pre-assembled tiny home, hitch it to truck, more freedom of movement.

My fantasy. Plot of land, nature. Garden, grow some of my own food. Solar power, sustainable. Local community I can visit to trade food, services. I scour the woods looking for materials, bring them to my self built cabin, and make cat furniture out of found wood. Creative cat furniture, wall habitats, can sell for $700 or more

I took 2 years of Latin in high school, but that was decades ago, so you may be right

Only tangentially related: Latin, the dead language, heavily tied into romantic, classical education. I recently found out that Latin in general wouldn’t say, I did this, but instead, this was done. Less of an emphasis on individual agency. Fascinating aspects about linguistics, how thought, sense of self has evolved over millenia.