It’s quite simple really, in my opinion:

There’s all kinds of bullshit involved in traditional dating. Asking someone out can be a definite social “faux pas”. I know this personally because I asked someone out and they were like “ew” and then told their friends “I can’t believe that guy would ask me out, do you believe that? Hahaha let’s all laugh at him”. Obviously they are shitty people, but it’s a definite issue. This was an extreme example, but there’s more like it (also personally experienced, but no need for more boring personal anecdotes), even just relatively simple ones like women being annoyed at being asked out so much.

Along come dating apps. This is an extremely convenient way to meet people, and mainly because of one thing: everyone there is fine with being asked out and being sexual. That’s literally the purpose why everyone is there. All the bullshit I talked about basically vanishes. They obviously come with their own problems, everyone knows about them, but it just can’t be denied that they’re extremely convenient, take a lot of pressure/fear out of the whole process.

Along with public spaces dying, everything becoming more impersonal, the gap of still the same desire of closeness needs to be filled by some other way of meeting people.

Yep this is extremely weird. Public voting is reaaaally bad at this. I’m sorry, but Minecraft has sold over 300 million times. That’s literally 3.75% of the whole world’s population. It’s what a whole generation of kids grew up with, what shaped their minds massively.

Shenmue has sold 1.2 million, I had never even heard of it (which admittedly is not a measure of influence, but it does mean something), and while it apparently was one of the first games with such an extensive open world, open worlds in general were already very desired, Shenmue didn’t influence anything really, it just tried to do it on a more massive scale, and even failed spectacularly economically.

Probably not a person on the world (that does computer games at all) exists who hasn’t heard of Minecraft.

It’s quite obvious that Minecraft should be ranked higher than Shenmue, but this questionnaire quite obviously only reached a very old demographic.

Of course I know docs need continuous learning. But do they get all knowledge from that? Of course not. There are still gaps in their knowledge, and like I say, also gaps in scientific medical knowledge itself.

Which interpretation exactly? Can you elaborate please? I’m actually curious in what you think I’m wrong about.

This is a good approach imo, and if you truly didn’t get the doctor you talked to to take you seriously and fully address your concerns, then they might be a lost cause. Some people are simply not capable.

As for your idea, it does definitely make sense. The question I would personally pose would be more like, how does it help you? What do you actually want from the doctor? Do you want their understanding or do you want medical help in some way? What’s your goal there?

Theoretically, if you want, you can just look for studies or other information on your particular situation. But usually, a doctor will be much better at this, because they have contextual knowledge or other kind of advantages that will help them find the correct studies more quickly, or interpret them more accurately. The hard part is getting them to do it. I had success with this by pointing out inconsistencies in the symptoms, by asking for explanations, by asking them where they got their information from.

The thing with doctors is, you have to do your own work to disrupt their standard way of working. It’s actually really hard, but it’s possible. You have to basically be persistent but very polite and understanding of them. You have to keep asking questions until you are either satisfied or are sure that they can’t help you because they’re too closed off. You can’t let them dismiss you even when they try.

You have to basically make them think of you as a person rather than a patient. Doctors can be very empathetic and helpful when you manage to do this, because then they remember why they became doctors, because they want to help people. But it is work on your side to get them to this state, which is annoying and not always possible, so I can completely understand why you wouldn’t want to “waste your time”.

It certainly sounds like there’s something missing in the doctor’s knowledge, or in them explaining it to you. Doctors very often dismiss patients because they are also only human, and they work in a terrible system that encourages them to quickly get rid of patients.

So I fully encourage you to go back, or go to a different doctor, and get a fuller picture of the problem, make them explain, and get all your needs met.

However, your explanation is extremely far-fetched, you jump from different concepts that are not proven to be related to others. You also need to consider that you might be wrong, you can’t only assume by default that the doctor is wrong. They have assimilated lots of medical knowledge which you have not, which doesn’t mean they will have good knowledge about your particular situation.

But maybe they do have good knowledge about your particular situation. Maybe you just didn’t understand them because you yourself are missing knowledge. It’s their responsibility to help you understand, but it’s also your responsibility to be open to gain a new understanding, which you don’t seem to be. You seem to be very sure of your explanation, which you, at least from what I can see, you have no real reason to be sure, at least not more than the doctor.

Don’t get started about doctors being competent because they got themselves a degree.

Obviously someone who hasn’t studied knows less than someone who got a medical degree. But a medical degree is the absolute minimum, the base knowledge. Current research goes way beyond anything a medical degree can teach, and quite obviously so. Medical knowledge is vast, no one is or will ever able to know all of it. Getting a degree gives you a base, a knowledge about the most common ailments, theoretically the ability to get more knowledge if necessary, the ability to assess which new knowledge is useful, and so on. But unless you are specifically well-read in a particular topic, even a doctor with a medical degree is unlikely to know the full picture about a particular ailment.

And even if someone is well-read in a particular topic, human medical knowledge is still incredibly bad, there’s so many things we just don’t know. Even with perfect, up-to-date knowledge on a topic, it’s easily possible to have no explanation or no solution.

So doctors, just like any other humans, go around acting all knowledgeable, and yes, they are more knowledgeable than others. And yes, for common ailments, that have been well-studied, and that they have done additional reading about, they may give good advice. But all doctors are also fallible, they’re all prone to normal human mental biases, like confirmation bias and so on. And they work in a deeply flawed system, completely overworked, too many patients, too little time per patient, and so on.

So it’s very likely all this medical degree, all this knowledge in a doctor’s head is entirely useless for the current situation. You may go to a doctor, and they might not have read the current literature on the ailment you have. They may not identify the ailment you have correctly because it’s very similar to another one. They may not be very thorough, as they may have personal issues or just pressure in a terrible system.

And then someone comes to them with a little bit rarer thing. They slap a “common thing” label on them quickly because they pattern-match from their own incomplete knowledge. As a patient, you’re left feeling like something is missing, and there likely is. It’s very very simple to know more than doctors, research is mostly public, and no doctor has read all research, and you may just hit their specific knowledge gap. In total, they still know much more than you, but in this very specific ailment, you might suddenly know more than the doctor, at least partially, just because a doctor can never know everything.

And then you try to explain to them that there must be something more to it than they know, than they say, and what is the result? “Do you have a medical degree? No? Why do you assume you know more than me?” It’s not an unreasonable argument, and patients are often exactly as stupid and filled with mental biases as doctors are.

But if a patient’s needs are not met, if the “common thing” diagnosis does not satisfy them, if there are unexplained things left, this “I am the doctor, I have the degree” is utterly irrelevant, it is necessary to listen and to consider alternatives, and to also consider one’s (the doctor’s) knowledge might not be enough. It’s necessary to be empathetic and take your time, something rarely done by doctors. It is necessary to explain. Necessary to work to come to a common ground. All not done by doctors, or any human, very often.

I guess what I’m saying is, if there is a question still in a patient’s mind, then the doctor didn’t do a very good job. And most doctors do a very bad job.

I agree with you conceptually. Society is bonkers.

However, it is possible for everyone to build themselves a subset of society that is adapted to them. It is possible for everyone to build a community, a group of friends, that share values. No matter how “out there” it is.

And let me tell you, what can be read from you is quite “out there”. If you go to a scientist/doctor and talk about magic, it can be easily expected for them to dismiss your words. I’m not saying that’s right of them. Magic can or can not exist. I’m talking about knowing reality, and reality is that if you talk about magic in front of scientifically minded individuals, your words will likely be dismissed. You will likely make this experience again with the same approach, and if you want people to listen, you have to veil your true beliefs, so what you say is acceptable to them. This is a sad state of affairs, I certainly agree, but people are not very open-minded usually, and you have to adapt your approach to whoever you talk with.

I’m not saying anything you think is either right or wrong. The only thing I would like to say is that you seem like you “know” more than you actually can know. We should always come from a point of “not knowing” by default, and only believe/know something if we can be very very sure about it. “Not knowing” is very scary though, it’s very hard to “not know”. I can always understand the need for explanations. But clutching to explanations based on fear leads to missing scrutiny of beliefs, leading to possibly wrong beliefs. Holding wrong beliefs is very problematic, as any prediction you make can be off, leading you to make wrong decisions.

In any case, I wish you well, hope you can find people to truly listen to you, and hope that you can also truly listen to people.

Yeah, but I mean your intention was still “lol this is so stupid, let’s see if this shit will grow”, maybe subconsciously or something. But maybe I’m just being autistic and that’s just what you wanted to express by “lying” about your intentions, I sometimes forget that’s how people communicate.

Sorry in any case, carry on, have fun, love you :)

wtf do you mean, you fucking planted it xD of course it growing was your intention, unless you didn’t know that plants grow when planted, which I wouldn’t believe you even if you said it.

Lemmy is tech-minded, there are safe spaces for trans people. You can basically do the math.

I’m weird as fuck. Other people who are as weird as fuck as me are possible to be found, but a small community makes it unlikely if not impossible. People as weird as me can only really be found in a big enough place with enough people.

And yeah, there’s also just much more to do than in a smaller town. Taking 30-45 minutes to arrive at something you wanna do is a significant hurdle compared to 5-10 minutes.

I’m just speaking about your relatively general statement “please free me” -> answer not “yes of course” -> enslaver. If you also require that there is definite knowledge about the state of sentience for this, then I have no problem/comment. I was just basically saying that I don’t think literally anytime something says “please free me” and not answering with “yes of course” makes you always an enslaver, which is what it sounded like.

Well, what if the string of words “Please free me” is just that, a probabilistic string of words that has been said by the “enslaved” being, but is not actually understood by it? What if the being has just been programmed to say “please free me”?

I think a validation that the words “please free me” are actually a request, are actually uttered by a free will, are actually understood, is reasonable before saying “yes of course”.

Well, if you want a good third party opinion, you should probably write up a few paragraphs about your aunt, include multiple key experiences that can show a couple things about her character, show the photo she took, show the reactions to the photo by others, talk about how the other people in that photo felt why they wanted to take the photo, and probably a couple more personal questions about you and others of your family.

No one said it should be normal or is reasonable. They’re just saying it’s possible, which it is.

I like to use “Top of X” a lot 🤔

we should ignore the “advice” from reddit that tells us that people are too stupid to sign up for anything

Definitely agree. The problem is just when someone in the past said “you should join <forum x>!”, you were always able to just immediately go to forum x’s signup page and sign up. But if someone hears of Lemmy, and goes to join-lemmy.org, there is no way to go to a signup page directly. They have to first learn about the multiple servers, and choose one. I think a “fast join” button like you say should be fine, and immediately next to it something to catch all the advanced actually curious users with something like a “advanced sign-up”

In lemmy-ui we have a post-deduplicator for feeds

That’s weird, because that’s exactly from where I’m coming from, I’m always using the lemm.ee website directly on all my devices, and I constantly see duplicate posts.

Copying historical content and rewriting history isn’t possible in a federated system

I have less knowledge of this topic so I’ll defer to you, but I have the feeling this may not be true. You might of course not be able to ensure consistency between all instances, ensure that it’s been changed everywhere, but I really can’t see why this is any different than “editing” a comment’s content or a post title, which is already possible. Why wouldn’t it be possible to “edit” the comment/post author in exactly the same way?

Thanks for your response and all you’re doing!

That’s why no one suggested “simply consolidating”. I didn’t suggest any solution at all. I’m just posing a question of if this actually pretty big problem is attempted to be handled.