I didn’t think I agree that it’s condescending. To me it’s just your cause analysis. If I had people reporting to me, and someone fucked up, I would want to know how we’re going to prevent it from happening again. To me it’s just cutting to the chase and problem solving.
I definitely agree, it’s all contextual. I worked in manufacturing for almost a decade which is very much process based. If something went wrong, we needed to know why so that it could be prevented.
A lot of the work I’ve done has been project based, and I usually think of the people involved as the team. Unless there’s an outlier, the general successes and failures are team wins and losses. These sort of questions obviously aren’t for all situations, but when used properly, it can bring about engagement. Even from critics, at least when given the floor to speak, they may reveal some truths that need addressing.
I have talked like this to children, which is good for them, but also condescendingly when I’ve felt it was warranted. I like to think in this situation it was a ‘moment to grow’ situation rather than condescension.