Uhhhhh, it’s called “It’s god damn 6am! Why the fuck are you outside when beds exist???” That’s the official name.

Pretty sure this guy’s not actually a velociraptor. He probably watched Jurassic Park. But the thing is, that movie took some… ahem …“liberties” with facts about dinosaurs.

Most people hear “velociraptor” and think 6 foot tall lizardy looking dinosaurs that can open doors. But in reality, it’s more like 2-3 feet tall, kind of bird like in both appearance and behavior.

That kid who said it’s like a 6 foot turkey would have actually been accurate if he had said like a turkey. Just…a regular ol turkey, except with teeth, and carnivorous. Still a terrifying thing to stumble on in the wild, as they were pack hunters. Now imagine a turkey with teeth hunting you. Except it’s like 15 of the fuckers.

So yeah. This guy probably ISN’T a velociraptor. He’s probably a Utah raptor. Which is what Jurassic Park based almost everything on.

Now, all that being said, fuck you Nintendo! You shut down the servers! I’d LOVE to have MiiVerse and online services through your official services…BUT THAT’S NOT ON THE TABLE, NOW IS IT YOU NARSASITIC ASSHOLES!

Actually, print media is basically dead. It’s all about clickbait these days!!!

Click here to win a million billion dollars!!! Number 7 will shock you, and make you poop your pants, and spank your mother for being naughty!

HATEFUL AND DESTRUCTIVE??? HATEFUL AND DESTRUCTIVE??? FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!!!

sets your car on fire

HOW COULD YOU CALL ME HATEFUL AND DESTRUCTIVE???

That would be a fun game show! There’s something like 9,000 NES games, and another 2,000 gameboy games.

Contestants answer trivia about old school games for the chance to spend their points on the right to listen to 5 seconds of an old midi from NES or Game Boy games. Every right answer gives you a star.

If they guess right, they have the chance to spend more points, or pass to one of the other two contestants.

At the end of the second round, the person with the least amount of stars is eliminated. Then after the third round, it happens again leaving only 1 contestant who goes to the bonus round. And the bonus round could be you play one of those nintendo world championships against last weeks winner. If you beat him, you go on to return next week, and next week, until YOU lose. Racking up more stars as you do. When you finally cash out your stars is 1 star = $1,000.

Damn. I’d watch that.

Ok…but wouldn’t some red flags be raised when you go to withdraw and they say “YOU are the person who opened this account?” “Yes.” “In 1824?” “Yes.”

…so, what’s different in this scenario?

Well, given that it’s you, I’m thinking something stinky.

Have you heard of…cake farts?

Doctors do. Then they want to charge you lots of money for having seen them.

Quick! Everybody pay this man for dick pics! He needs a self esteme boost!

Partially, yes. They allow Nestle to absorb a HUGE amount of their rationed water supply. Nestle doesn’t need to exist in California. It can exist in literally ANY state, most of which have no water shortages.

I’m not saying it’s an instant fix. I’m not saying boot Nestle and you’ll not have fires. But what I am saying is they’d have a more efficient firefighting crew if they didn’t have to worry about water shortages as much.

Another thing they just straight up shouldn’t allow is grass lawns in the part of California where the grass doesn’t naturally grow. There as some people, basically living in a desert, who import grass and use their rationing of water to maintain their unnatural grass lawn. And this isn’t the same as having a grass lawn that’s a little dry so you give it extra water. This is grass that just isn’t supposed to grow there, and CAN’T grow there…so they artificially enhance it’s ability to grow. If you’re grass can’t maintain itself using mostly just rain water, then it’s not in an environment where it should be living. That’s just depleting the already limited water rations. You don’t see Nevada trying to pretend they live in Michigan.

Damn. My rent is 800, and it feels way too high. Should be like 600.

And do think. That guy on the roof was inches away last summer.

Dude…why is your rent 2K+?

They should call it Nintendo OY. But I don’t think anyone would get it.

No.

Tell them to move to Cleveland. We have one of the best public transportation systems in the country.

The downside is, it’s still technically Ohio. But you’re coming from Texas anyways. So it’s not like you have a high horse to stand on anyways. If anything going from Texas to Ohio is like going from the 2nd worst state to like the 8th worst state.

Sooooook, slight upgrade.

This is my own personal experience. I am not a medical doctor. I hold no degrees. However, I’m confident that I know what I’m talking about here.

Get yourself a short fat girl. Like 5’3, but 220lbs.

I hurt my back in 2011. I was walking bent over for like 2 months. I was also dating a fat girl at the time.

I had her give me a massage, but it didn’t do anything. I was like “it needs to be HARDER!!!”

Somehow we got to the point where she was walking on my back. I felt like I was being squished in the best possible way. When she was done, I was able to walk upright. Still in pain, but not so much pain that I was forced to be hunched over.

We did this every day for a week. Suddenly my back was fine. Then we kept doing it because it just feels good.

So yeah. That’s my back pain relief advice. Get a fat girl.

…what? What are you shopping for thats not in stock?

People are stupid. People shopping at, and working at walmart are usually EXTRA stupid.

I mean, why work a job that barely pays you peanuts, but also treats you like shit? Yet Walmart is the nations largest employer.

Then you go into their store, and get treated like shit for existing. And the prices aren’t that much lower than Target. Which in my city is literally right across the street.

Now your city may not be literally right across the street, but in most markets the Target is usually still fairly close. Close enough that if you were going to go to walmart, you may as well have just gone to Target instead.

There’s a reason PeopleOfWalmart was a thing. Or how Superstore/Cloud 9 was CLEARLY based on Walmart.

It’s a shit store, with shit employees, and slightly lower prices. The whole experience no matter what perspective you’re coming from is built to enshitify YOUR experience at the cost of saving Walmart money. Tiny amounts of money.

So I assume people use the review section as their only source of an outlet to rage.