I know you’re joking but you basically just suggested buying a pack of frozen mixed veggies so you can pick out and use only the carrots for your stew, and the idea of someone actually doing that sends my brain into a tailspin

If I had a nickel for every time I was troubleshooting with a friend and discovered they thought turning the monitor off and on again was “rebooting the computer” I’d be depressingly wealthy.

I just threw up in my mouth a little.

Do they… they torture them with a rubber horse…?

ETA: Goddammit it says rubber hose

My coworker flips his shit every time I include a ternary operator in a PR. He also insists on refactoring any block of code longer than two lines into its own function, even when it’s only used once.

He is not well liked.

You are a beautiful person. May the wind be ever at your back

At this point if I can’t find a “Jump to Recipe” button displayed prominently at the top of the page within three seconds of visiting I just nope out and find a less cancerous site

My favorites are flesh fries

I can’t imagine a world in which calling a bird a “tit” in the first place was not the product of a poorly thought out public poll

Man I’d love to know how to break into the pro circuit of watching porn at work

You could make it run git pop until it clears the whole stash

Well if we can’t solve global warming, at least we’ve got world hunger in the bag