This is sort of what I saw in California - where I’m from, Hispanic people were “the white people”, and people descended from Africans were “the black people” and I wasn’t aware of any sort of prejudice against Asians, they got lumped under the big umbrella of “white” . But when I was in California it was more like black and white guys considered themselves Americans, all one thing, and discriminated against Mexicans and Asians.

It’s all made up, to keep people divided. Not to say there are no historical reasons reverberating still - institutional wealth comes from the past and slavery, so descendents of slaves have legitimate grievance- but the categories/rules of in groups and out groups and who is discriminated against are not the same all over the US.

For every one making millions, there are millions making near nothing.

People at the top of every industry DO make that much. Think about the UHC guy, you don’t think he was pulling that much?

Inequality is baked in.

I got some crazy genius IQ score when I was a kid because I was very good at taking tests and read a lot, good with language. Just happened to be good at what they were testing.

If you like to do programming, create things, are curious and interested in things, you ARE NOT STUPID. Not everyone’s intelligence runs to language or something tested by those tests. They are not really tests of potential, and the only reason my mom got us tested, the only reason I got two of my kids tested, was to get us into the better classes in school because they will only do it as an accommodation for a learning difference in.the public schools here. My other kids went to schools that promoted them based on their performance in class, which makes so much more sense.

Now - my friend had a legit genius boyfriend and he was a raging asshole, I think because he had nobody who thought like him, he was alienated. But the problem was that he was an asshole, not that he was a genius. So as long as your partner is nice and you can talk to each other, there is no problem, don’t borrow trouble and don’t think of yourself as stupid.

I agree with this. Don’t work off the clock, no. Absolutely no. But 5 minutes early with 5 minutes overtime is good not bad, (unless it really is impossible with your commute.) there is no way I would complain about that. Your coworkers are basically showing that the job costs more than management thinks it does, that they need the prep time to do the job.

A wood stove would be incredible if I lived in a colder climate. Here it would just be too much heat, they are used to both cook and warm the house, right?

But yeah. Throw another log on the fire. A couple of my friends moved to the countryside in Belize, and they built a big clay oven outside, but said because of the way it heated (so hot, close it up, let it slowly cool) they could only cook certain things in it.

I’ve always cooked on radiant electric (not induction) stoves, but gas stoves are amazing. Literal fire just works like nothing else. Faster cooking != Better cooking, why are you conflating them?

I’ve never lived in a closed up efficient new house either, those seem like anything you cook would be problematic. All cooking releases something.

Will almost certainly stick with electric personally (whole house is electric only) but if I had an unlimited budget it would be gas stove, big whomping vent fan, and ovens with both steam and fan.

Induction worries me because we had an induction plate and it made a terrifying shrill noise, I worry that the high end ones do the same but we can’t hear it. Which seems awful for the dogs and cats.

I was quite skinny but 5’9" and not so leggy. If they are thigh highs I’d buy your regular size and just let them end a little lower, that looks good. For pantyhose I would look more for “Medium - Tall”, Long Tall Sally make some, Foot Traffic has tall tights, or see also if you can find any that say sky high rise, that might work. Because often they slide because they don’t reach the natural waist on tall ladies, the rise can be more problematic than the inseam because tall women are not short women on stilts, but brands seem to think so.

35" hips on 6’ also sounds like you may want to exercise though?

I know that’s not what you are asking! But I bulked and went from 32-30-33 to 38-31-42, and my legs went from 18" to 23". So more conventionally ‘pretty’ proportions and people still seem to think I am lean and slender.

Oh the chubby cheeks to jowls slide is real, and I think that’s part of it. Also lower teeth showing more than upper.

Yes. Especially if you are not even working on it and just say “that’s how I am”, because it implies a complete disregard for how your actions (actions, not feelings) affect other people.

It’s exhausting to be around someone who is always angry. That doesn’t mean there is nobody who would “like you for you” but it will limit your potential pool of friends a lot, yes.

I was walking in the neighborhood recently and passed a guy putting a pigeon in a high up box in his yard. It was such a an odd thing that I wasn’t sure what was going on, and mentioned to my daughter that I thought this guy was keeping pigeons, and she said “because you saw him KEEPING PIGEONS?” Which I guess is fair, it just was so weird I wasn’t sure!

I don’t know if he uses them to send messages, but some people certainly have them at least as pets.

Orange is the new white!

You can identify however you want and I think pansexual is correct because you are attracted to the person not their gender, you just lean straight.

Hmm, I don’t wear pantyhose but as a tall-ish woman with a long rise (distance between crotch and waist) I do sometimes have problems with allegedly high waisted garments that are too small in the waist because they are trying to close around my hipbones. That is wildly uncomfortable, yes. But if they are really so high waisted that they reach my natural waist, they are so comfortable.

So I think your pantyhose are just too small in some dimension, maybe try a bigger size or see if you can find some that are labeled “tall”.

Here is a list of the top 5 most litigious countries by capita:

1. Germany: 123.2/1,000 2. Sweden: 111.2/1,000 3. Israel: 96.8/1,000 4. Austria: 95.9/1,000 5. U.S.: 74.5/1,000. The Top 10 also includes the UK (64.4); Denmark (62.5); Hungary (52.4); Portugal (40.7); and France (40.3).

From https://eaccny.com/news/member-news/dont-let-these-10-legal-myths-stop-your-doing-business-in-the-u-s-myths-6-and-7-the-u-s-is-very-litigious-and-that-is-too-threatening-to-a-small-company-like-ours-as-a-result-the-risk/

Yeah. I am old so have watched this game a long time.

Well, not the DOGE part. But yeah, I think that a dem sweep in the midterms is possible. And that a Democrat could win, assuming there is an election. The people who staff the polling places are community members, and you can still run for local office if you want to, and try to make your way up.

Is there any chance that you have dysmorphia, not a gut? 130 at 5’7" for a guy sounds pretty thin, even if out of shape, and the description of your diet sounds like you are certainly eating to maintain only 130, not a metabolism thing. Husband is 5’9 and said he was skinny at 145, I am same height and was skinny at 125, like really very slender. So we are close to your height and think you probably want more lean mass not less fat.

I do stand by the previous advice, something vigorous in the morning and heavy weights as often as possible. There are a couple of things you have to prioritize so they will happen. Exercise is one of them. Besides the 5am runs, I have done 9pm gym sessions, 5:30 am jazzercise, find the time and don’t let go of it. Once it’s a habit you will feel better on a workout day than an off day.

But you may have to eat more, not less, and lift to get the result you want.

Anything helps, of course. Anything is so much better than nothing.

You are skinnyfat, yes? You don’t want to lose weight, you want to add lean mass. Weights are what do that best. Ideally you would want to lift heavy at least thrice a week if you are trying to shape up.

I can only lift once a week lately (lady, mid 50s) but do yoga 4x/week too. It’s maintaining me reasonably lean.

I have been where you are (single working parent) and what I did back then was wake up at 5am and run, because that was the only time of day nobody needed anything from me, and running is nearly free, just shoes. It sucked, but the days I ran I did feel better later on, it was worth it overall I think. If there is any way you can wake up a half hour earlier and do something vigorous, and then add weight training once a week I think you will get good improvement. Just maybe not as much mass as you ideally want.

A quiche does rise a little, yes. But you are correct that it’s not like a souffle that has to really puff. Good quiche is so good.

The cake comment and recipe review comment two different thoughts though.

Come to think of it, I have seen blood broth soup on menu at some Vietnamese restaurants, so I guess it is used sometimes in foods.

I did this through high school by listening in class, the teachers explained the material then assigned homework, which I did not do, then tests, which I crushed with near 100% accuracy, then got a C grade in most classes because I don’t do the work, only the tests. Also tested out of the first year of college. Was just good at taking tests I guess.

In university though - I did have to study and do the homework to ace the exams. That was more specialized (accounting).

ETA: your friend sounds like an absolute testing savant. I don’t know how that will translate to a job though.