As I get older, I am angry less often, you gain perspective with time, but have never been quick to anger - it takes awhile for me to get mad, it’s not a reflex. Like you, anxiety is closer to the surface for me. I don’t think most people are usually mad, because I know a couple of them and it’s notable and unusual.

I don’t think anyone is never angry, it’s appropriate sometimes.

The news cycle feeds on outrage, and news is not an accurate representation of the world even when it’s true and accurate news, because normal life isn’t news and doesn’t get reported on much.

I don’t think that happens but it wouldn’t harm you. You could ask the mods of your server, though, right? It’s not a stupid question at all.

I don’t personally think splitting a small audience makes sense, but if there is some reason you don’t like the existing group, that is different. Not sure why it would be unsafe, what are your concerns?

You write so well, hope you can find your way to a better time, and NOBODY is obligated to have children, full stop. No matter why they don’t want them. Not even the person who might birth the person who saves the world. Nobody. You don’t need an “acceptable” reason or to explain yourself to anyone. It’s your life.

I don’t think it’s immoral, and I also don’t think it’s immoral to have the child. It’s more complicated than “disability” or “ability”, if you can handle the job and give that kid the best life they could have had, short or long, love them and see it through, that is not immoral. If you know you cannot, and it would wreck your life or be very detrimental to your already born kids, it’s certainly not immoral to abort the fetus and focus on what you can do.

Yeah, I think you are on the right track with sleep apnea then. Which can be life threatening, so not shocking your mind might be alarmed. This might be a question for a doctor.

You know you are in a nightmare, as in you become lucid? I would thank my nightmare for letting me know I am dreaming. Not try to wake up. Try to make friends with it, to defuse the terror. That knowledge that it’s a dream is valuable. Have done this several times myself, but my nightmares aren’t necessarily about terrifying situations, it’s more like the fear comes first then my mind sort of builds around it. So everyday things can be terrifying in nightmares but in regular dreams I could be in objectively terrifying situations and not care, and particularly in lucid dreams that is true.

Best of luck to you, may you have calm and restful sleep.

Selling yourself is not an easy job. If you can, then sure, go for it. But for each person making thousands there are thousands of people making pennies.

Yoga in general and deadlifts are what I do. Back extension in both directions laying on your belly on a bench is good for strengthening it safely, start with small range of motion and extend it as you can.

Remember a few things - we spend more time bent forward than back, so make sure to strengthen the back in the arched direction as well. The whole body is connected so develop it in a balanced way. And move in every direction (intentionally). That last one is what yoga is so good for.

This has to depend on the guy. My ex, he always made less $ than me because I went to college after having kids and got a better job, then asked him if he wanted to do the same he said no, and we made enough as long as we both worked, it wasn’t anything we really thought about, only about hours worked by each of us. Now when he was unemployed it all went to hell, but not as long as he worked at all. I valued his work, not the wage.

My husband, he wants to make more than me but sees it as a challenge, he wants me to make more money, because it would motivate him to make more money, he just wants us to have more money. He is very happy for me to succeed, and I’m valued for contributions at home and making money, and (critically important) he does as much as me around the house, and our busy work seasons aren’t at the same time so we are able to support each other during those months. I do think it’s a sexist thing (he does too but still feels it) but don’t actually care, it works fine for us in practice.

I do think the loneliness epidemic affects men more than women, and would argue it’s sexism harming men. On average, women are more likely to reach out, talk to people and family will check in on them if they are alone. Like, my husband (who is more outgoing than me and better at keeping up with friends) will call his mom or go up to see her, but leaves his dad alone unless he literally asks for something. Because men are taught it’s shameful to not be self sufficient, but women are taught to look for help if we need it.

Obviously this is not a straight gender split but on average it still plays out that way.

I mean, depending on the task, I have felt this. There are sometimes things I can’t figure out which hand to use because both feel wrong. Not often. Guitar feels like that for me.

I also read that as we get older, we become less “handed” and it’s not because we become ambidextrous just less dextrous overall, the dominant hand loses dexterity.

I know that while pregnant, the digestion slows down, to try to wring more nutrition from what you eat. I also know that I eat about the same as my ex and my husband and both managed to get fat. Also I drop weight when stressed and maintain a normal BMI when not so stressed, but others I know gain when stressed.

It all is very interesting to me, but so strange that it’s broken for so many people, and most all in the direction of overweight.

Fit and padded. I think if you call it a powerlifter build that’s a good description in itself.

“Not now, I am busy”

"Great! I need to work now, see you around!’

You don’t need to be boring - I am telling you, working woman to working woman, that is an ineffective strategy with determined guys. You need to convince him you do not have time for him in your full and interesting life.

Yeah we saw one of our neighbors watering the storm drain. But also recently she drove from her driveway to ours - literally got in her car, backed out the driveway then immediate turn into ours, to come ask a question. Then got back in her car, backed out of our driveway and immediate turn into hers. So I think she is just crazy.

Real answer?

Don’t fight the pelican. The law is on their side, for one thing.

No I don’t think you could hold it away from you without hurting it or you. No I don’t think it has any intention of harming you, unless you are a fish. Walk on by, it will either just sit there or fly away.

Oof, I was not going to share my thoughts on this but: my first thought when I saw the smiling footage was that it had to be a cute psychopath, I don’t think most people could smile while they planned to kill anyone, and I was glad that if he was a weapon at least he was aimed correctly. I wouldn’t say my impression has changed.

My gay coworker said, and I quote “ooh, hello handsome!”

Nobody I’ve talked to has been able to dredge up any sympathy for the victim, like literally nobody of any class or inclination. All feel he killed for profit, live by the sword, die by the sword. That is separate from any feelings about the killer or vigilante justice in general.

I agree with this. We have rented houses when we didn’t want to buy a house. Even though technically we probably could have bought one, it’s a pain in the ass to purchase and expensive to maintain and even now I’m not quite convinced it’s worth it. Housing is important but not everyone wants to be a property owner.

It’s more like the whole system is fucked, housing is too expensive and part of that is because of rental profit but it’s not the whole problem. We paid less per year to rent than we do to own, for similar properties. Even though the landlords made money.

First:

No, you don’t need a purpose, and your lifestyle sounds ok, if you were enjoying it (I think plenty of people would) but a couple of things stick out to me. One, you are avoiding romantic attachment - if any women are attracted to you, you are not unattractive or too awkward or whatever - you are really not attracted to any women who find you attractive? Or your brain rejects them because you subconsciously think you cannot possibly be attractive so there has to be something wrong with them?

Two, you do honestly sound depressed. It doesn’t have to mean so catatonic you can’t make it to work, it can mean going through the motions of life without feeling anything.