I remember a shitty N64 game called Rampage in which you would crush cities with your fists until you were bored with the game and move on to a better one. This “war” has been like watching an entitled shitty kid play Rampage, but he’s not bored yet.

The juxtaposition of the masthead of this publication with the title of the piece and the particular date is just chef’s kiss. It’s so brave of Harvard to state this fact on INAUGURATION DAY. Fuckers.

“Moisturize me.”

Rogue state

I think “very young women” are actually called “girls.”

Have they asked Charles Koch and the other oil men to sit for this experiment? They should have a taste of the future they’re forcing us to endure.

By forcing the town to endure something they clearly and repeatedly rejected, it’s sort of like Starbucks is molesting the town with an unwanted incursion. Maybe they could forgo store #798,463,299

Thank god

Ford is just doing what oil industry is making them do. As more people buy more electric cars, the number of these big-ass vanity throne ships will increase to offset the lost revenue for oil industry.

Evil is on parade in our time.

Decarbonize/Desaudify

Tell me when they have a way to remove it from my cell supply

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Hmm, I just can’t tell the difference between this normal US President and this psychotic shrieking banshee. I guess they’re just bowls of poison. Oh well.

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Worst job I’ve ever had. Just an endless stream of people with no self control asking for “moaarr!” More chicken, more more more. And then their burrito is too fucking fat to wrap it up, so you wrap a big pile of slop into a little square of foil that’s busting at the seams. It’s a gross trough of slop that people stand over and gleet into with their mouth noises while poking the glass pointing at ingredients with their dirty fingers.

Monotony