There was a senior dev at my first job that we called Lord Voldemort and he was the king of ungreppable variable names. Short, full of common characters, and none of them actually described what they were doing. I swear he only used characters that appeared in C++ keywords, so looking for fo would invariably tag every for statement in the file.

He also had hooks set up to notify when anyone was in his area of the code and you’d always get a two-hour phonecall where he’d slowly wear you down and browbeat you into backing out your changes. Every time I pulled a ticket in his codebase I’d internally shudder. He was friends and/or had dirt on the CTO so he just remained in that role and made everyone’s life hell.

I agree with you. Even if you never touch it, it’s nice to know what the libraries you’re calling are doing under the hood.

maybe this will work

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linting and unit tests

Yeah, the goddamn wooden spoon. I remember being noisy in a crib and my mom storming into the room screaming and busting the spoon in half on the side of the crib. She’d already hit me with it so I knew exactly what it meant. I got spoons, open hand, and hairbrushes for most of my childhood. Hair pulling, pinching, and ear-twisting too if we were in a situation where she couldn’t just haul off and hit me.

The funny thing is, she called me up about a decade ago and asked if I could remember anything about my childhood that was bad. And rather than list everything off, I told her about the time she broke the spoon on the crib. That’s when I found out that it hadn’t happened at all, and in fact if it had happened it was because the spoon was old and brittle and if she’d done anything at all it would have been a light tap on the side of the crib to get my attention, and now that she remembers it yeah that’s exactly what happened. It just fell apart in her hands. We didn’t talk for a few years because of that and other things.

After my daughter was born, she sent us a package that included two beautiful olivewood spoons from Israel. I use the fuckers when I’m making pasta. She calls or texts every once in a while warning me about protecting my daughter dark, evil things in the world. This usually happens when she sees a picture of my kid playing with a toy spider or a halloween skull. And I just chuckle and agree that there are dark, evil things in the world and I’m doing my damndest to protect her from them.

Not the flex he thinks it is.

A thing that hallucinates uncompilable code but somehow convinces your boss it’s a necessary tool.

And he gets all icky when he sees blood.

J. D. Vance sounds like a men’s big & tall outlet with weird font on their sign.

Oh same, and we need more dems like her in general, but I’m not going to be too disappointed when she chases Pelosi’s job instead.

AOC wants to be Speaker, not President.

Also the campground at any Phish show.

Strong “the meeting will continue until I have broken you” energy.

This whole thread makes me so mad. Well done.

Yeah. Also, superficially good looking people can still be sketchy weirdos. Vibe, context, and prior relationship are much more important than looks. Of course, some people can’t get their head around this and start blaming literally anything else: their height, their bone structure, a worldwide conspiracy against them. It’s crazy.

Source: how it went the first time

I became a dad late (around middle age) and was telling dad jokes way before that. My theory is it’s less about becoming a father and more about getting older and just wanting to annoy people for my own amusement.

👍

Can do.

Oh man yeah. I’d have to dig out the PS2 but I’d love a sequel to that. Mojo King Bee’s theme is still stuck in my head.

Weird. I just got done beating Link’s Awakening it sounds like they’re making a new tiny Zelda game. I’m in the middle of playing Superstar Saga and just watched this. I should go play Earthbound next.