Monkeytennis

Employers will quickly learn that leashing a person to their laptop will not prevent wasted time, it’ll cause them to waste time in other ways, and will drive away talent. The only harm is when it impacts outcomes, which is easier and more beneficial to track.

It’s pretty obvious when someone is underperforming, you don’t need to know whether they’ve been doing the laundry between meetings.

I wanted to pay it down while the rates were low, 10% would’ve started off ok, but obviously the lower it got, the less that was. Makes sense from the bank’s pov, seems a fair trade-off for a fix.

It just feels like a huge gamble. I went the tracker route between 2012 and 2018 only because I didn’t want the overpayment restrictions imposed by fixed deals.

Luckily it worked out, had I gone for a fixed rate I’d still be slowly paying it off, at a higher rate.

For every person who did well, there’s someone else who didn’t, mostly through unlucky timing.

It’s crazy in the UK too, where 3-5 year fixes are common. I’ve know folk who at renewal next year will be paying £500-£800 extra, each month.

My biggest impact has been gas and elec, which maybe added that amount to my annual bill. I can’t imagine the stress.

Coddling has the negative connotation - to consistently overprotect. Occasional spoiling is an entirely different and good thing.

You missed my point. I’m ignoring nothing, I’m suggesting OP seek out men who will be supportive, because they’re not hard to find.

I’m certain I could find studies as proof, but don’t we all already know this to be true?

Plenty of men can deal with this, and plenty of women can’t. It’s not helpful to see this as a gender thing, you’ll only feel more alienated. You might want to seek out some new social connections?

I’ve been though divorce recently and despite being very amicable, it’s caused me to reset - some things broke, but being more emotionally open has been one of the good things. I’m still pretty reserved but a few things are different:

• I care a lot less about conforming to “ideals” or how anyone judges me. That means I no longer feel the fear and second guess everything I say.
• When appropriate, I ask people - especially other men - how they’re doing and gently push for a genuine answer. No one’s reacted negatively to that, so far.
• With my kids, I simply do the opposite to my father. I tell them I love them, I take an interest in them, and I take their feelings seriously. I don’t coddle them, but I want them to feel secure and confident in talking to me. They’re still young, so we’ll see.
• During work 1:1s, I take a genuine interest in people, most will subtly drop hints that they had a bad weekend or are feeling tired or stressed. I used to gloss over that, now I’ll ask about it and say I’m happy to listen. A surprising number will go on to share, with the bonus that it builds trust.
• If someone asks how I am, I won’t lay it all out for them, but I’ll be honest. Most people empathise and tell you they’ve been through similar. It’s never been awkward, and I’ve found out nearly everyone I know is pretty anxious and is going through difficult stuff.

As an aside, I never watched much porn because I found it so cold and alienating. It’s interesting that you found the opposite. Anyway, I’ll stop there and wish you well!

Maybe it’s because I’m in a UX team and you hit a nerve, but “pull them into a quick meeting” summarizes my contempt for office life. The lack of boundaries and constant distraction was relentless.

I’ve met many Susies who, like me, dreaded the “Hey Suze, you got a minute?” because everyone vaguely recalls that we’ve worked on something related to their project. It was not as valuable or productive as you think. Pinging the person on Teams and not expecting an instant reply was the right thing to do, even back in the old days.

I’ve been cutting my own for years, never considered using a taper guard. Hmm.

Isn’t it amazing, how from a single photo you can deduce that her stand-up is pure dogshit